something's got a hold on me

Late but new, Neenah 4.0 is emerging.

Have you ever felt a skin shedding? I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye.
In my dreams, I have become prominent. The usual spirit-moods, colors & ancestors have taken a backseat to my internal clamoring. The light is bright & I am blind & confused.

Everything seems alien, again, like before when I was pregnant with something. I've never been with child but I've heard how things smell stronger, strange; sight may shift; and you may become so beautiful. How beautiful will I be?

The sentiment is the same. This body doesn't feel like mine. Today, I glanced in the mirror as I washed my hands and the color of my eyes startled me.

I can't be faithful to a thought or emotion...

: I did say I wanted a change, that I needed to get in better shape, grow/cut my hair, buy some new clothes, etc. Be careful what you wish for. Nommo is real.
But how often do we say these things without action?
So, I suppose I should be grateful that I'm being "compelled" ("pushed" is more like it). God knows, I need it.