sugar ain't sweet enuf ::: bite me

I remember after I got my second tattoo, a friend said, "Now you're really cool..."
We weren't on the best of terms at the time, though friends still, we were struggling
What she meant, in my mind, was that she saw (a new) me, heavily invested in the

construct of Cool;

That I was shaping myself from scholarship to
.... CoolChick
:a leader known, for innovative mind, body & spirit of individualism, superhot & (in)definitely alive

An early outcast in elementary school, I became infatuated with developing in a way which I could most effectively influence the world with my ideals without being pressured into joining. Understanding that my pursuits were inherently inclusive, I had no qualms with going higher, higher and even HIGHER ... there, sometimes alone

being where i was touched yet untouched

And now
There are things that I find hardly tolerable, in anyone to which I attach myself.

Mommy taught me early on: "Keep your mind"
So, I'm fucking solid, even while still figuring shit out. For example, I'm pretty honest, sometimes too honest. I show softness, cause, come on, we all got certain vulnerabilities; that's cool. Often I think we get so caught up in some preconceived notion of what cool is, we are unable, or unwilling to be soft. We dote and work, toil and labor, primp and prim, and while presiding over what we have created, explicitly ask nothing. Subsequently, we'll give without consequence of what giving implies of both parties.
How can you conceive of sharing? Logically, what is "selflessness" without a solidity of self?
But we are hardly fictional manifestations; we are bare gods, those of us with something.
Me, myself, personally! I ain't Jesus; I expect some shit too.

This is new discipleship muthafukka!

If you ain't learned by a certain time to keep yo' mind well/......shhhhiiiitttttt, I'own even know what to do fah ya pimp. Really, I'll be a shotty friend cause you ain't learned how to be your own best friend, maintaining self for all intended to partake, including you!

Cool, is a skill, a level of life that seldom achieve and fewer need. As an interpersonal bond and manner of communicating, I realize in my constant evolution, I can't live without it and require adequate nurturing.....